Finding a Healthy Balance: Video Gaming & Screen Time

My son K- Monster loves gaming; he would prefer to play video games than go out in the real world which is quite worrying. We had an issue about a year ago before I started this blog, where it was hard for him to transition from switching off playing video games.

K has always had issues with sensory, breaking away from a task for him has been difficult. He’s much better now especially at school being able to move from one task to the next without finishing his current task which before would end in a meltdown.

At home we have set up boundaries, like no video gaming or YouTube videos on school nights. The main issue we had was the weekends, a lot of parents see the weekends as relax time and allow their children do what they want to keep entertained.

This was my belief before I noticed the change in K- Monsters behaviour when I asked him to turn off his console and do something else- he would get upset. Even now with limited time, if I ask him to come to the shops, help with housework, give me a hand with something- it’s always ‘hold on I can’t pause this campain’, if I say ‘no mate put the control down now’- you can see the difficulty.

I know many would say, ‘if your child has issues with this, why not take it away all together?’- It doesn’t feel right taking away his consoles all together- video gaming is something he truly enjoys and is good at. As a parent I’m trying to find a balance that works for both of us.

This is the main reason K doesn’t own his own handheld device or phone- I have more control on when and where he has his screen time. I hear parents with teens saying their teen’s mobile is stuck to them 24/7 and at times keeping them up all night- this isn’t healthy and can affect schooling.

I’m trying to set K up for success by setting boundaries with screen time and teach him how to disconnect.

K’s cousin of the same age as him and many of his friends have their own mobile phones. I personally think 10 year old kids don’t need a mobile phone unless they’re away and it’s used for emergencies.

Screen time impacts each kid differently; some kids can play online for an hour- switch off and get on with the day without even thinking. While other such as K can have a hard time disconnecting and returning to the real world.

So how do you know when gaming is taking over your child’s life?

For me it the first thing I noticed was my son’s behaviour, he would get moody- he would want to rush back after helping me and at times he would cry.

I see screen time an issue when it has noticeable negative impacts on:

• Friendships- a child stops hanging out with friends- preferring to spend his time online instead

• Family- attitude change towards family members, not helping the family

• School- staying up all night and not sleeping well

• Homework- not spending the appropriate time to do their homework

If these areas in your child’s life are having negative impacts from gaming or other screen time such as mobile phones- it would be best to look into cutting back time spent on them.

At first your child or teen might be upset, beg, promise that they will do other things and do whatever you tell them to do to get their time back- stand your ground! Soon you’ll see an improvement in behaviour and have your happy engaged kid back.

This is what I had to do with K, I felt horrible for cutting his screen time but I could see it was having a negative impact. Before he would get upset when needing to break away from his online world, at dinner all he would talk about was gaming and now he’s able to do and talk about other things.

Has your child had an issue with disconnecting from screen time? Comment below